So I'm back from the dark regions of the blogging world. I'm not sick anymore and neither is my laptop, but is has been an interesting couple of months. Probably best to cover it in a Past, Present, Future format:
PAST:
1. Major laptop problems, so haven't been able to blog in a while. This coupled with having everything but the Swine Flu left me out of commission for a while. Glad to report both laptop and blogger have recovered fine.
2. My wife had a major injury that rocekd our household in early April. She fell in the middle of the night and broke her neck and jaw. We've had many weeks of recovery, she had her jaws wired shut for several weeks, and wore a neck brace for several weeks. She is much better now, but still can only eat soft food. It will take a few months for total recovery. She has tests coming up to rule out what might have caused her to lose consciousness. I did learn alot, though, about such things as servanthood, being Mr. Mom, and what's really important at the time.
3. Because of the above, I am soooooo behind at the church. There are a ton of new changes coming for the fall, major summer events and trips right around the corner, and Anna and I had to reschedule our long-awaited sabbatical week for the Fall. I have to be honest and say I feel like I am constantly spinning more plates right now than I can handle and I was at a pretty bad place a few weeks ago. It has been a hard year for us personally, and it all hit the wall and I lost it. In front of my youth. Last month. But God is gracious, and I think I'm moving to a better place now. Slowly . . . but surely.
PRESENT:
1. I'm back blogging. I'm mean, really . . . right now . . . I am typing this.
2. Last week I went home to Memphis to officiate the wedding of a former student. It was a blast seeing former students and old friends and what God is doing in their lives. My Youth Pastor's wife passed away and I was also able to attend her service and see him and friends from my youth group I grew up in. People I hadn't seen in 10-15 years. It was hard to see them under those circumstances, but good nonetheless. Boldly went to see Star Trek while I was there too.
3. Getting ready to graduate our seniors in TSMAC. Wow, another year has gone by this quickly! it's always bittersweet to see our seniors head to new chapter in their life. I'm grateful for how God has used them this last four years and hopeful for how He will use them as they move on to college. Many of our students that graduate use the experience from the years they were in TSMAC to in turn minister in the churches and campuses they move on to.
4. Going through 24, Heroes, CSI Miami, and Office withdrawl until September.
FUTURE:
1. Getting ready for a busy, busy, summer (see #3 under "PAST"). The economy has hit our participation (as it has everyone) in our summer trips and we've had to re-calibrate for it. Starting a new thing for summer with our Sr. High called TSMAC U. Mexico mission trip in July. We have a charge staff-wide in our church to simplify our ministries and church life and live into our new vision and have a whole new atmosphere at CBC come August 23. This is all a good thing, but who knew simplifying would be such hard work? I feel like my plates are spinning and I can't keep up with them. Ultimately I believe all this change will put us in a better place and that God will do some incredible things, but it's going to be a long hard summer to get there.
2. My daughter starts high school this Fall and moves up into my group. Talk about a different dynamic! I am excited about it but anxious as well. She is even more. If any of you guys out there have already lived through this-some help would be appreciated.
3. I think I'll have several kayak days in Galveston Bay this summer to chill from the busyness. Looking forward to that and some family day trips to the beach!
So there it is. l'm back. Be looking for more posts, more often. All two of you.
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Simplification... it's a beautiful thing. But, as you have noted, it can be a difficult, painful process... but afterward, you'll wonder why you didn't do it years ago. (Sorta like losing weight, kicking a bad habit, etc.) Two years ago, my family started this process, and while we're still in its midst, we've already reaped some benefits. We extricated ourselves from all "ball" - baseball, soccer, etc. Friends thought/think we were stupid, yet, none of our children have EVER asked to return. In fact, they've all expressed gratitude for not having to adhere to the ridiculous schedule the "recreational" leagues presented. While my kids loved to play, I have seen a dramtic lessening in their (and the parents') stress levels.
ReplyDeleteHere's another thing that has helped our family... our church. In late summer of 2007, I finally relented to God and moved my family to a different church... 2 years after I first heard God speaking to me about moving.
(Let me stop here and clarify something. From this point forward, please don't take anything I write as an indictment against all youth ministiees. This is simply my family's experience... what we've lived, what we've suffered through, and what we're now enJOYing.)
The church we moved from was our home church for, right at, 15 years. It was the oly chirch our 4 children "had ever known". Leaving was not easy. That church offered all of the, now, regular ministies for our different aged children. As a result, we went to church as a family, but for > 90% of time, we participated in church-sponsored activities, were taught, praised God, and worshipped God as individuals. (It is VERY difficult to defend this structure with Scripture.)
The church we moved to is a family-integrated church. Our family, as a whole, attends SS and each worship service as a family. There is no Youth group, but we have a huge group of youth. Over 1/2 of our regular attendees are children.
All church activities are family events except for the following: (1) Men's prayer time each Tuesday @ 6AM (2) Monthly Father/Son breakfast (3) Monthly Mother/Daughter "Keepers at Home" meetings. (4) Bible Drill for all ages up to HS Seniors (5) Yearly Father/Son campout (6) Friday night, yes, I did say Friday night, Bible study at the Pastor's home for upper-HS through the college-and-career age. This includes young married couples.
This church is NOT perfect by a long shot, but as a father, I never have to spend an hour each week asking my wife and children what they were taught in SS, children's church, Youth group assembly, retreats, etc. and making sure that it was Biblical... and then if it wasn't, spending time undoing what they were taught and then having to speak to the person who taught them incorrectly. Being in this type of church has really freed up a lot of time for my family and has brought us closer to each other and to God as a result of spending the time together while we are at church.
Wow, I've gone on too long, but . you get the picture.
Though never a paid staff member, I have spent a lot of time in various lay ministry positions over the past 18 years.
ReplyDelete5-6 years ago, God took me through a process of showing me that I had too big of an opinion of myself. I had come to the point of thinking that the church would suffer, if I were not in the position I was "serving" in.
It had gotten to the point that I was spending waaaaaaaaay too much time on my church ministry and waaaay too little time ministering to my family.
Big mistakes. In no particular order:
Mistake #1: Pride
Mistake #2: Not acknowledging God's sovereignty
Mistake #3: Priorities out of order
Mistake #4: Feeling pressured to do things a certain way because that's just the way it was done in this church.
Mistake #5: Relying on my strength
Result: I resigned my positions. Thankfully, God didn't have to beat me up too badly before I acted.
Regrets: Aside from the obvious, not confronting 2 friends, who were paid staff members. Having examined myself, I could see all of the same things going on in their lives. I was weak in my efforts to share what God had taught me. They stuck it out... and struck out... in less than stellar fashion.
Lesson learned:
(1) Any worthy, lasting, thing accomplished through my ministries is accomplished solely by God, and in spite of me.
(2) Most programs/methods we come up with in today's churches aren't worth the effort/money/time and aren't inspired by God, but rather by a cultural pressure to do something bigger, better, cooler, edgier, more "out there" than what we've done before in order to keep the crowds entertained. God's directions on how to spread the Gospel are SIMPLE. God's directions on how disciple others are SIMPLE.
(3) If I think a activity/ministry will suffer because I miss a Sunday, or two or ten... then that activity/ministry is, in reality, based upon me... a man. In this case, immediate repentance is called for. Furthermore, an honest, Biblically based critique of the activity/"ministry" is needed. In some cases, the activity/"ministry" should be shut down.